Yesterday was a bit of a sad day. We went to pick up the Kangoo and dropped off Tizzy, our Clio. Chris loved that car, he really didn`t want to sell it, but needs must. He said it was the first time he ever bought a car that he didn`t really want. He even went and kissed Tizzy goodbye as we left the car place, much to the amusement of the salesman. It was a sad moving on for Chris.
I don`t know why, maybe it was buying the new car and all the talk about the assisted dying bill everywhere, but as the day wore on I found myself wanting to avoid anything that was reminding me of MND, especially on social media. I usually find comfort in knowing we are not alone, but it just wasn`t helping. I slipped into a low period and suddenly saw myself alone in the future without Chris. He always seems happy and I asked him why and he said it was because he had me and the kids, but he did admit that little things like seeing his sister teach her grandchildren to ride on our little pony Pirate, who now lives on their farm, made him a little sad, as it was one of those things he had hoped to do in the future with his own grandchildren one day. He didn`t dwell on that too long though, he mostly concentrates on the here and now. Thoughts on what he will go though drifted back into my head too, but we talked a while about things and then moved back to the present, locking those thoughts away till the next time they pop into our heads.
Chris did tell me a little story about something that happened yesterday that made him smile though. He had to go to a funeral of a fellow farmer he knew with his brother. Chris took a walking stick with him, the type that has two handles that fold down to make a seat, just in case he had a problem finding a proper seat, as he can`t stand up for too long. When Chris walked into the Wake to get a bite to eat, this lovely old lady offered him her seat, which he had to take as he really needed to sit down properly. He said thank you, but he thought it should have been the other way round and he should have been offering her a seat. He was touched by her kindness though and then he asked her if she would like to sit on his knee and she just giggled and said no thanks, but I think maybe Chris brightened her day too.
Like everything in life, all the bad stuff floats to the top, like seeing nothing but gloom and doom everywhere, especially on the news, but if you are prepared to dig deep enough, you`ll find a lot of good people and a lot good things going on too and that is the best thing for lifting the spirits. MND isn`t going away, but we are trying our very best to rise above it and not let it drag us down too much. Here`s to a better day today.
