Every now and then I just feel so over whelmed with it all and so bloody guilty. I hear of so many brave people out there with MND, so many others touched by it doing amazing things to raise awareness and fundraise and it makes me feel pretty useless. I know those thoughts are stupid, but going with the flow, that`s just how I feel today.
I know there is nothing I can do to halt this disease`s progress in Chris, all I can do is just be there for him. It`s like I`m standing infront of him, trying to fight off this demon, but I also know that I don`t stand a flipping chance against it and neither does he. I want to do more to raise awareness or fundraise, but sometimes, just sometimes, I just want to hide from it all rather that be strong and fight. I don`t want to face up to it, I want to pretend this is just a bad dream and when I feel like that , doing positive stuff goes right out of the window.
I know this`ll pass, I know I`ll get the fight back and I know it`s probably normal to wallow sometimes, but seeing Chris just getting on with life and being so brave, well it makes me feel just a little selfish.
Tomorrow MND will still be there, but so will we, I`ll do my best to regroup my thoughts and fight on.
