Monday, 25 May 2015

No. 185. 'Be careful what you wish for.'

OK  MND,

I knew a fair bit about you before you entered our lives. I knew you were a cruel and callous disease with no cure. I knew you were to be feared. I never dreamed though that you would enter our lives as you did.

My husband was a farmer, born and bred. It was the only life he knew and he loved it. He is also kind and funny, gentle and shy, but also very stubborn, a little OCD and very much a man of habit,

He always worked too hard and the only thing we used to argue about were the hours he worked and the little time we shared as a couple and family. I used to wish and wish that he could spend more time with us…yes..wish and wish.

It seems you decided to grant my wish MND..yes… like the Grimm Reaper with a sickly smile on your face, you sunk your tentacles deep into him and his fate was sealed along with the granting of my wish.

I regret that wish, everyday of my life. Take it back MND, take it back. Yes we do spend more time together, all of our time together. That is not a problem. My husband is still gentle and kind, he still smiles and rarely gets angry. He is patient with me when I forget to clamp his PEG tube and his stomach contents syphon out all over his tummy. He is patient with me when I deal with my own frustations and get grumpy with life. 

I would take back our old life though in a heart beat. I would take back having him working all those hours, for him to be happy and healthy. I would make sure I would never wish it to be otherwise.

I would have been so careful what I wished for MND, especially if I had know you had the power to grant them.

Oh and by the way, I hate you very much MND.