I Today I thought I'd tell you a little bit about Chris. He was born into a farming family, he was actually born in this house, so this farm truly is his life. He has one brother and two sisters and his 92 year old dad is still with us.
Chris and I married when we were 36. I had been married before and had two children from that marriage, Jordan and Tamara. Chris had quite a few girlfriends before we got together and I tease him often about that fact, but he never married until we got together romantically. We have actually known each other since we were 19, but I guess life wasn't ready for us to be together then. We will have been married 20 years in October. We had Chloe the year after we were married.
Christopher has loved horses all his life and learnt to ride almost as soon as he could walk. In his younger years he did some unaffiliated show jumping and still loves to watch anything horsey on the Horse and Country channel. He is most proud that the ex race horse he still owns (he is retired now and living his days out on the farm) was once ridden by Frankie Detorri and he won on him at Goodwood. He also loves cars and has owned a TR7 for well over 25 years. He converted it to a V8 engine a long time ago, although it has been off the road for a couple of years. He wants to get it back on the road with help, but I will have to drive it for him now. He is also obsessed with number plates, must be a man thing I think.
He has worked hard day in day out, with very few days off over the years, trying to keep our heads and the farm above water together with his dad and brother. The only thing we have ever argued about is the hours he worked. I was a townie, I never quite understood the pull of the farm for him and I think that pull will always be there. I always wanted him to slow down and do less and I suppose I got my wish, but I would give anything for it not to have been this way.
Chris is a quiet, shy man, extremely kind and loyal and always willing to help others. He is also very stubborn and a little OCD about lots of things in life and is sometimes way too much of a perfectionist. He is sometimes hard to please because of that. I know my untidiness drives him nuts sometimes. He has alway been slightly built and very slim and before MND he was as strong as an ox. He has always had a hearty appetite and has always amazed people at how much food this skinny man could put away. I think a lot of those traits though are helping him cope with this rough deal that life has dealt him. This is just a taste of the man I married.
I still worry about things, the future , practical things, stuff like that. Chris seems to worry about very little, he really does just take life one day at a time. We try to adapt to each new challenge, wheelchairs, trousers with elasticated waists for example, push on handles for cutlery to make then thicker and easier to grip. He gives me that look each time I suggest something that might help him cope better and that tells me he's not keen, but he takes it all on board anyway with very little fuss. All Chris really thinks about is the farm. He misses it like crazy and all he really wants at the moment is to still be able to get out and drive his Nuffield tractor. He still does farm office stuff, but that is never the same.
He laughs when I tell him he is my hero and I know everyone who is fighting this awful disease is a hero too, but Chris is mine. I know he is a long way off the worst that this disease will throw at him and I'm sure there are going to be some very low times for all of us, but he is much braver than I can ever be. I am under no illusion as to how tough the next few years will be and yes I hope there will be a few years more of this man in my life. I am sure there will be days when it will be tough beyond belief for all of us, especially him. There will many tears and much anger, but I hope there will always be lots of laughter too.
I don't want this to come across as really cheesy, like we are these amazing people who can cope with anything, because that is really not true. Chris hates what MND is doing to him as do I. It is the most evil of diseases and I wish with all my heart that MND had never touched our lives. I hate it with a vengeance, but it has, so we have to try and deal with it the best way we can, one day at a time....... with just a hint of future planning thrown in by me.
